Thailand Map   Although we entered Thailand on the E&O before stopping at the Kwai (for better or for worse), we didn’t discuss the country then, so we’ll catch up now just a bit, starting with this map of Thailand. It stretches 1860 km (1156 mi) south to north. With a bit of imagination, the country looks like an elephant head facing left, with the trunk running down the Malay Peninsula, an eye at Bangkok, and an ear up around Chiang Mai, my second stop after Bangkok. Phuket in the south is a well-known beach resort, Kanchanaburi (locale of the Kwai) is not shown but is halfway between Bangkok and the Burmese border. Ayutthaya, also not shown, is a short distance (76 km [47 mi]) north of Bangkok. It was the capital of the country for 417 years, from 1350 to 1767, when it was conquered by the Burmese and destroyed, at which time the capital was moved downriver, first to Thonburi, then across the river to the small trading center and port of Bangkok. The Ayutthaya ruins are today an historical park and a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Notice north of Chiang Mai the tripoint where Burma (Myanmar today), Laos, and Thailand come together. This conjunction of rivers is known as the Golden Triangle (more correctly it should be the Golden Tripoint, since no triangle is involved), but is also known for opium production. I’ll visit the Opium Museum there. The Mekong comes down out of China and forms the Burma/Laos border, then turns east after accepting the inflow from a tributary that forms the Burma/Thai border, and this is the tripoint. Notice how the Mekong then enters Laos before becoming the border again, then enters Cambodia and later Viet Nam. From China to Viet Nam, the Mekong is the most international of rivers in this area, and I’ll take advantage of three of those countries when I’m at the Golden Triangle. As you review the countries in the area, note that Thailand is the only one that was never colonized by a European power.

Names   Thailand, formerly Siam, is one of those countries that successfully changed its name internationally (Formosa/Taiwan, Persia/Iran, British Honduras/Belize, East Pakistan/Bangladesh, Northern Rhodesia/Zambia, many more). Siam was the international name until 1939, when it was changed to Thailand during the war years. Then it was Siam again from 1945-9, and has been Thailand ever since. I find it curious that, along with the new name, the old remains embedded in the language. We talk today about Thai food (never Siamese food), but a Siamese cat (never a Thai cat). We also retain the old phrasing “Siamese twins” (never Thai twins) because of the famous 19C Siamese conjoined twins Chang and Eng Bunker, and this extends to a pipe fitting that allows two fire hoses to be connected to a single standpipe being called a Siamese connection (and not a Thai connection).

The naming of Bangkok is even more colorful, since the international name, the exonym (2009/33), is different from the highly unusual local name, the endonym. As for the exonym, “bang”, appropriately, is Thai for rivertown, and “kok” is the name of a kind of plum. The endonym, in its short form, is Krung Thep, which is roughly “City of Angels”, but we can’t stop there. Bangkok/Krung Thep has an extremely long ceremonial name, listed by the Guinness Book of Records as the longest in the world, and Krung Thep is only the first two words. The entire ceremonial name, almost never used, is:

School children have to memorize the name by rote, chanting it like Western kids chant the alphabet song. Learning it is apparently difficult, since it includes a number of archaic and foreign words. I asked my guide in town to quote the name, and, after a short pause to think, she rattled it off very nicely. I am told that this is roughly the meaning:

Thai Script & Language   We can now segue just slightly into the script and language, about which I know next to nothing. From what I read, the language is rather complex, and has five tones, and strikingly different vowel length (long and short vowels). The unique Thai script is used only for Thai, and I find it amazingly graceful. Almost all signs one sees are also Romanized. Looking at the Thai script, it seems like the number 9 has been bent and twisted in numerous ways to form many of the letters, as though the 9 were doing calisthenics. “Krung Thep” appears as:

One thing I learned promptly about the transliteration can be of use to the reader. For reasons I do not understand, T can appear in transliteration as T or TH, P as P or PH, K as K or KH. This we can already suspect, since we know that the word Thai itself is really pronounced Tai. But that’s equally true about similar words. If you ever need to refer to that famous beach resort mentioned earlier, Phuket, you now know that it’s pronounced poo.KET, and you will not fall into the trap of pronouncing it like an English obscenity. You can also say Krung Thep correctly. Bangkok is known for its canals, called klongs, which you also may see written as khlongs. The ancient city of Ayutthaya, which I at first mispronounced, is a.YOOT.ta.ya. Look at that earlier map of Thailand and you can now pronounce a lot of the names. Also, a major sight to see in Bangkok is the Wat Pho. Do not fall into wondering “What fo’?”, and do note the alternate spelling Wat Po. Also remember that the part of town on the west side of the river is Thonburi (pronounce it right!), and, since the first local capital was located there, the result is that the name Bangkok is NOT totally lost locally. Bangkok still is used on the Thonburi side in some places, notably on the Klong Bangkok Yai (which I sailed up) and the Klong Bangkok Noi.

[I thought those two words looked familiar, and I was right. Check 2010/6 and you’ll see that the original Kwai river was the Kwae Noi “Little Tributary” and they renamed the upper part of the Mae Klong River the Kwai Yai “Big Tributary”. Thus you can judge which of the klongs in Thonburi is the larger.]

One catches on quickly to a few Thai words, such as thanon for street and soi for sidestreet, in the rather unique system of naming (or numbering) sidestreets based on the nearby major street. You pick this up as you walk along. Also, there’s the word many people have already heard of, the word for temple, wat, since they’ve heard of Angkor Wat over in Cambodia. Now you know what the Wat Po is. But my favorite word is farang, the word for “foreigner”, and I like it because of its derivation. It’s short for farangse, which is the Thai rendition of français, so etymologically speaking, if you’re not Thai, you’re French. Still, I have a hunch--it’s just a hunch--that not just any foreigner is a farang, possibly just a Westerner. Wouldn’t that be logical? But, as a hunch, it may or may not be true.

Miscellanea   Before delving into the subjects of the Oriental Hotel and what I saw in both Bangkok and Ayutthaya, let me make some general comments. From Day One I was impressed by the politeness and helpfulness of the Thai people. When I looked confused on the Metro or Skyway, strangers came up to help, usually in English. It was my first impression of Bangkok (other than the insufferable heat) and was a good one. As modern as these urban trains are, it was amusing to note a small sign above one of the seats in the area that in other places might suggest giving up the seat to elderly or disabled persons. Instead, this sign said “Please offer this seat to a monk”.

In Japan last November I got into the bowing culture to some extent, and here I tried to do the same. It’s very common to put your hands together below your chin and bow your head slightly to say hello, say goodbye, say thanks. I tried to do that as often as I could, when appropriate.

The hotel was located on the river, and had its own dock. I enjoyed being told by the front desk to go down to the dock and check with the boatmaster. I like that word. Also, the river was plagued with large floating green islands of swift-moving vines. These are (flowerless) water hyacinths that appear during the rainy season, and the boats have to move around and through them. Sometimes they were tiny, but one morning out of my window maybe a quarter of the river was covered by a long one. Nothing can be done, since apparently even pigs refuse to eat them.

I’m surrounded by new (for me) tropical fruits. I mentioned that they gave a demonstration of them on the E&O, and at the hotel, I come across them both at the breakfast buffet and in a fruit bowl in the room. I’ll mention just two, one because of the outside of its skin and one for the inside. The rambutan is about the size of a large walnut and has a scary, hairy-looking outside. Not to worry, and that isn’t hair. You just press it between your fingers and it breaks open to reveal the white fruit inside, like a lychee. The white fruit contains a plum-sized pit. The leathery skin of the mangosteen doesn’t surprise on the outside, but on the inside. It’s about the size of a large plum, and a knife is helpful to break into it. The skin has a thick, dry, reddish underskin that’s about as appealing as drywall, and about as difficult to cut into. But again, the white fruit is a delight, and comes out in sections, like an orange. One section contains the pit.

The image some have of Thailand is from Rogers and Hammerstein’s The King and I, as shown in this (rather dated) trailer for the 1956 film version. The traditional buildings and statues I saw do look like that, and the workers on the train and in the hotel do dress in that traditional way, although no one else does of course, normally. Note the handclasp below the chin and head-bowing they all do at the end of the song. That’s done a bit exaggeratedly, but is correct. I understand there were many inaccuracies in the film, but Anna Leonowens did teach the King’s children in the early 1860’s, and, in Bangkok’s Grand Palace throne room, embedded in the wall opposite the throne, is a mid-sized black slate, which she apparently used, according to my guide, to teach with.

Bangkok’s Layout   It’s easy to picture the layout of Bangkok, especially after some of the clues I’ve already slipped in. From north to south flows the Chao Phraya River (say it right), which suddenly arcs to the west, then east again, before continuing on its way, with Historic Bangkok on the east bank and Thonburi on the west. The capital after Ayutthaya had actually moved to Thonburi first, but in 1782, the capital was moved to Bangkok. Thonburi remained an independent city until it was merged with Bangkok in 1972. This view of the Chao Phraya, which barely begins to indicate the amount of river traffic on it, looks south, so Thonburi is on the right, with Wat Arun splendidly illuminated in the upper right quadrant. Bangkok is on the left, with the illuminated roofs of Wat Po visible, although the Grand Palace is off the picture to the left. Remembering that bang means rivertown, the bulge westward gives Historic Bangkok its distinctive “pregnant” shape on the map, pushing its way toward Thonburi.

The more contemporary city, the Eastern Quarter, is inland to the east. Two more directions to visualize: just north of the center city is the New Royal City with more recent museums and palaces, and to the south of the center city is, first, Chinatown, then the Old Commercial District on the river. Notice that everything mentioned (except the contemporary Eastern Quarter) lives on and off of the Chao Phraya River. More than in many other places, the river is the heart of this city.

Visualize the location of these places, as I’ll be talking about them in this order: the Eastern District; the Old Commercial District (south, right on the river); Thonburi (west, across, yet on the river); then moving north, Chinatown/Historic Bangkok/New Royal City; Ayutthaya.

Arrival & Eastern District   The E&O came in to Bangkok in the late afternoon. I’d enjoyed the trip, warts and all, but was glad to be independent again, so that if something went wrong, I’d only have myself to blame and not someone else, who’d wanted to do things the way they felt was best. And of course, Bangkok was sweltering as I made my way to the first stop of every traveler in the modern world when entering a country, the ATM machine for just a bit of local pocket cash (everything else goes on credit cards, and much has been prepaid anyway).

The station is located between Historic Bangkok and the Eastern District, but way at the southern end, where Chinatown morphs into the Old Commercial District, the location of the Oriental Hotel. I do not take taxis unless necessary, as when leaving Singapore. In the perfect world of preplanning during the New York winter, a longish walk seemed to be an option, but in the current heat was out of the question (which I’d really suspected, anyway). So the subway was the answer, since I was eager to experience it, anyway.

There is good news and bad news here, which I was aware of in advance. Bangkok has a great, modern subway/elevated system, with new, air-conditioned trains. But there the comparison with Tokyo or Singapore ends. Bangkok’s Metro has only a single subway line, which swings into the Eastern District, then way into the northern suburbs. Bangkok’s Skytrain has two modern elevated lines, one zooming to the east at one end, and north at the other, but then fortunately, its other line does swing below the Old Commercial District to Saphan Taksin/Taksin Bridge, and in recent months, even began crossing the bridge over to Thonburi. So my choice was to swing into the Eastern District on the Metro, then take the Skytrain over to the bridge.

But then comes the other defect. Tokyo has two unrelated systems, but each is extensive, so you can ride on just one and probably go where you want. But Bangkok’s two systems are separately owned, and each charges its own fare. This is no great expense, since each fare is in the range of maybe 75 US cents, but it’s a matter of buying a ticket for the Metro, returning it to the turnstile as you leave, then buying a token (!!) for the Skytrain, then returning it as well. Worse still, the machines don’t take paper money, so each station has a booth with 1-4 clerks just exchanging bills into coins. Such inefficiency makes the head spin.

This is the first point where people were so nice. At the station, people directed me to the Metro and helped me get change. While everything else in Bangkok was in two languages, the map on the Metro machine (but not on the Skytrain machine), where you had to press the station you wanted to go to, was only in Thai. I could have counted stations from where I was, since there are so few (I was going only two Metro stops and three Skytrain stops), but someone spotted the problem and was kind enough to find the button to press. I couldn’t have had a friendlier introduction to the city.

But then when changing trains I found that someone had been asleep when planning the connection, since I found that at the connections, the lines weren’t very close together, which required quite a hike down a long corridor. This view shows the Skytrain at the Sala Daeng Station, with the long walkways from the Metro line I’d come from hidden in that conglomeration of structures. (Notice that the street traffic is on the left, just as in Singapore and Malaysia, and in upcoming Australia.) But then I finally arrived at the bridge.

[Let me interrupt this account of the arrival to say that late the second day, I had time to ride the two systems again, to see a little more of the Eastern District. I’m sorry to say that, with the exception of the spectacular monuments and of the river views, much of Bangkok appeared to me as a bit gritty, if not grubby. Buildings seemed to be one shade of gray or another, and often overbuilt out into the sidewalk. There were numerous overhead power lines on many buildings, and the sight just wasn’t all that appealing. In addition, Bangkok traffic is insufferable, causing major pollution problems, including for the historical monuments, which have to be refurbished regularly. I went around both systems to a few neighborhoods, including a contemporary one with a lot of hotels, but was not impressed. Siam Square is a major shopping area with a lot of boutiques, and was supposedly hit hard in the insurrections in Bangkok a few months ago. I only looked down from the Skytrain station, but couldn’t see much. However, on the other side, I saw a building of several stories that contained a cinema, where the whole structure was burned out.]

Old Commercial District & Oriental Hotel   Not too very far south of Historic Bangkok and Chinatown, is the Old Commercial District. It was built up during the 19C when European trading houses settled here along the river, notably with their façades on the riverside, since the narrow little streets--sois--on their inland side are of secondary importance, given all the river traffic. Notably remaining in their original sites are, in a row from north to south along, and facing the water, the Old Customs House, the Oriental Hotel, and the East Asiatic Company. Of the three, it is obvious which one I was interested in.

I got off the Skytrain at Taksin Bridge, knowing that there was actually another sort of interchange there. The river is used far more than most cities as a traffic corridor, and regularly scheduled boat services take commuters from the Skytrain to destinations along the river. However, I was also aware that all major hotels on the river, the Oriental, Marriott, Sheraton, others, had free shuttle boats to their hotel. Actually, the Oriental has three free routes, a short way downstream to the Skytrain bridge station, across to their restaurant in Thonburi, and a short way upstream to River City, a major shopping mall. I had occasion to use all three, but this day I just used the ferry as my final connection to reach the Oriental. Although the hotel has a large circular driveway on the inland side, I felt it appropriate to arrive by water.

I usually like to stay at a well-located hotel, either near interesting sites, or near the station, or at least near a subway stop. The Oriental had none of these advantages, although its boat connection compensated for it, and its location on the river is part of the historic allure.

The Oriental hotel dates from 1876 and was, like Raffles and the Penang E&O, a magnet for writers and other celebrities. The original building has suites named for, among others, Joseph Conrad and Somerset Maugham on one river corner, and Noël Coward and James Michener on the other. Among many other visitors was Graham Greene and John Le Carré. I read that the building, although small, had a colonial richness, and “is as atmospheric as it gets”. I also noted that in 1958 an annex called the Garden Wing had been added on its land side, perpendicular to the river, and in 1976 a tall building called the River Wing, immediately upstream and perpendicular to the river, was also added. This wing was where I’d be staying. The hotel was now part of the Mandarin chain and known as the Mandarin Oriental, and was described as “the most memorable stay in Bangkok” and was said to be among the “best luxury hotels”. From what I’d read and from analyzing their website, I was expecting close to another Raffles experience. I was wrong.

I’ve seen hotels expanded before. Even Raffles had those newer buildings in the back, in which even the Long Bar is now housed, and they match the original perfectly, so that you can’t tell new from old. But my clearest image of a proper annex was in León, Spain, where I stayed after my trip on the Cantábrico (2007/10). It was the centuries-old Parador San Marcos, and I knew I’d be staying in the annex out back, but that was not a problem, since you entered to register in the lobby of the historic building, and dined in its restaurants there. The annex was just an annex.

But on arriving at the renamed “Mandarin” Oriental (the historic Oriental itself is hidden in the trees) I was shocked and dismayed. It may be hard to imagine, since The Old and The New were both very attractive, but things were totally different from what I’d expected, even after careful research. The boat landing was in front of the original Oriental, but beyond a small garden, the disused entrance was closed off. I walked upstream along the terrace used for the breakfast buffet, and found myself then entering the River Wing. Why was I being rerouted? I had to ask where Registration was, thinking I’d be guided to the original building, but instead everything was located in this new wing. The tail was wagging the dog. Once I settled in, I found that both sections were perfectly beautiful, but that the original building was attached down a corridor, like an afterthought, as a wing of what I’d considered all along to be the annex. The original building was now called the Authors’ Wing (A wing! How dare they!) and the entire (petite) original lobby was now called the Authors’ Lounge. Upstairs there were the special suites, and around the ex-lobby were a few public rooms. When I visited this “wing” that first evening, it was almost deserted. Beautiful as it was, it was a preserved corpse, like the preserved Lenin in his tomb in the Kremlin.

What I’d considered earlier to be the annex was the real Mandarin Oriental Hotel. It had perhaps the most attractive contemporary lobby I’ve seen, all glass, with beautiful Thai-style chandeliers. But it was all so ultra-ultra and over the top. There were women in the lobby in evening gowns (something I did not see at Raffles), and four Thai musicians in tuxedos were a string quartet (two violins, one viola, one cello) were playing a Strauss waltz in the corner. This was all very nice, but was it what I’d wanted?

When I went to register, an employee in a tuxedo accompanied me to my room, sat me at the desk, and had me register there. Right afterwards, the floor butler (!!!) rang and brought a “welcome” tea drink. It was too much for me to absorb. At the elevator bank in the lobby, there often was a flunky waiting around to press the button for you, and worst of all on that first night, right after I was disquieted about the “Authors’ Wing”, a flunky actually asked me my floor, entered the lift first to press my floor, then got out so I could enter. This I can do without.

I can only give my first impression rather crassly, using this coarse image: it’s the kind of place where, if you start to scratch yourself, it’s very likely a hand will appear from nowhere and take over the job. This was something I felt I did not need.

At least I had gotten the high floor I’d asked or, 15 out of 16, and an impressive southwest view out to the river (my room wasn’t quite as elegant as this suite). There were also fresh flowers and fruit in the room. Compounding my disgruntlement was what I was going to see. After the arrival day, I had three full days in Bangkok, then, on the last day, a late train departure for Chiang Mai at 6:10 PM. I was further consoled that, without my asking, they’d offered me a late checkout--automatically at 6 PM! I’d never heard of an automatic late checkout that late before. And, in addition, my room deal included the buffet breakfast. Maybe I could learn to like this place after all.

What bothered me about my three days was that they were in flux. I’d wanted to arrange for two trips in advance, but hadn’t been able to. I also wanted to be able to use my excellent Michelin Guide for Thailand--the only one they make for Asia--to walk through and visit Historic Bangkok, but there were two problems: the distances were considerable even in pleasant weather, and with the heat, it was all impossible. I went to bed unsettled that first night.

I reformulated my plans and went to the concierge the next morning. I asked about klong cruises, and she set up a nice one for that afternoon. I told her I couldn’t possibly hike through Historic Bangkok, and she set up an afternoon private tour with guide and driver that would get me through it (pricier than the other tours, but worth it). And for the third day she found me a trip to Ayutthaya that came back by boat. Suddenly, all the plans fell into place, and the picture was looking brighter.

In the evenings, I went purposely to sit in that gorgeous modern lobby and listen to the string quartet. I also enjoyed the restaurants. On the two last evenings, I took the hotel boat over to the Thonburi side to their traditional Thai restaurant, the Sala Rim Naam and had two great meals on the terrace, near the river’s edge, with a view of the illuminated boats passing by. I slowly got to like the “new” hotel.

And I came to terms with the “Authors’ Wing” being just an adjunct, after further visits. And it didn’t hurt at all that one of those visits was a Manager’s Reception. It’s apparently done weekly, and I assume all new guests get invited, with me just hitting it right, time-wise. The Manager was in a receiving line and introduced his wife and senior staff. Drinks were served, and Chinese dim sum were not only provided, they were made from scratch at two tables. During the conversation, four Thai women dancers in costume made their way down the twin staircase from the Authors’ Suites upstairs and danced around the center of the room. They carried a pair of small candles in each hand, and it was graceful how they maneuvered their arms while they held the candles and danced.

And there was one more treat. On the E&O there were a couple of guys traveling together that seemed like interesting people to talk to, but I’d never gotten the chance, nor had we sat together at dinner. Well, they were right there at the reception. They turned out to be from Sydney, and we spent the entire time discussing Australiana, from Hugh Jackman to the Sydney Theater Company to my views on the Northern Territory, and so forth. But there turned out to be more. They had also stayed at Raffles before the train. And, as one of the guys was a Noël Coward buff, they had stayed at Raffles in the (pricey) Noël Coward suite and were presently staying in the Oriental, ALSO in the (pricey) Noël Coward suite. Needless to say, we discussed Coward and his music, too. I also felt I had a further tie to the original building of the Oriental since I was talking to two people staying right upstairs. It was still a real hotel after all! Still, we all had to laugh when they said that the travel agent they’d booked the Oriental through warned them that the Noël Coward suite was in the--horrors--OLD part of the Oriental. I supposed he just didn’t get the point.

In the end, I’d come to terms with The Old and The New at this hotel, and was quite satisfied. You’ll see why when you look at this video of the Oriental. It’s highly promotional, an ad, actually, but does show things I’d like you to see:

Discussion of my travel on my three full days to Thonburi, to Chinatown/Historic Bangkok/New Royal City, and to Ayutthaya will follow in the next posting.